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Greg K

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This is not the end. [Apr. 26th, 2011|05:19 pm]
Greg K
Well it's been over a year since I posted last.

I've been asked to write down what I'm thinking in an effort to straighten it all out.

In that time I have lost my girlfriend of nearly 5 years, my father, my club residencies, my moral compass, and possibly my mind.
Right now I am floating through life trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do in the short time I have left. Waiting for the next paradigm shift to throw me on the ground and wait to see if I can catch up.

Funny how things come full circle. Funny how you can take things for granted and funny how much it hurts when what you had secretly expected finally happens.

Sometimes there's loneliness, sometimes it's replaced by an invincible freedom. Like a pendulum it swings, unlike a pendulum it is not predictable or measurable.

I would be lying if I said I'm okay, but whenever people ask that's what I tell them.
I try to find happiness and it eludes me. I take risks now for the first time in my life. I live for the moment and don't think about consequences but in some brutal misjustice, inevitably the consequences are harsh and unforgiving. If I do think about the possible outcomes of any given choice, I simply don't make it for fear it will be the worst outcome and in all cases so far it has been anyway.

This could be reassurance my passive nature is who I am and should not be changed. Spirituality is hard to come by these days though, and is no sanctuary for my troubled mind.

I recently tried to realign my karma, and have clearly failed. Happiness is a mystery to me now. A fleeting glimpse at something I left behind maybe. There's definitely a lingering notion it is my own doing, even if by not doing anything at all (maybe that's the problem).

Not only am I hurting now but I've also hurt others. This will follow me for a long time and I'm well aware of that. I thought I had a firm grip on social conduct. I thought I'd imagined all of the thoughts that weighed me down previously in life, were some kind of black magic curse. Maybe they are but they are looking a lot more real than ever before.

I try to have fun, to stay positive and sometimes I succeed, but I'm always left with an empty feeling that can't be suppressed or relieved.

I look around me and people aren't without their problems but don't seem to be suffering nearly as much as I do, when making small decisions. I am aware this is a condition and it may pass, but there's not much that I can do sans medication and there is no way I am going down that road again.

I am moving cities to a new place with opportunities and energy. I am apprehensive that I might sink into a pit of loneliness and despair in not knowing too many people there and leaving my friends here but I really don't care anymore. I would rather be in a new location than surrounded by memories that haunt and torture me.

So understandably the girl has moved on. In the weeks after we broke up she saw a few guys, and has already found herself a new boyfriend who she's madly in love with and has been for many months. I am happy she's happy, although the reasons we broke up were due to indiscretions on her behalf with other people, that she had kept secret from me. This is difficult for me. I caught her out once, and she promised she would never do it again, and if she did that she would tell me. I asked her again later out of sheer paranoia and she assured me she had been faithful, and then I turned to guilt for having suspected anything.

Of course it turns out my suspicions were not unfounded or false as I found out years later.

A year has passed now and I still can't even convince a girl to come to dinner with me, but in my mind I've come to the conclusion now that I don't deserve it and that's why. Cold comfort.

Unconditional love might just be an idealism and nothing else and this might be some form of lesson that sometimes the ego needs to be involved.
I still have no idea how to drive that thing though.

As for my Dad, well.
I can't even begin to tell you what I am feeling there. There's not much else to say other than what's happened and the obvious feelings associated with that. So sudden and unexpected. I know I can't change that now and all I have left are the memories of our time together. There's really not much else I can say about that. He died doing something he loved though and the support from his friends and everyone in my life has been beautiful. It's things like that which restore my faith in life but I just wish there was more life without hurt.
There just aren't the right words to paint with.

So I'm not sure if this will help or hinder but there it is.
I'll likely write more later, if there is any more to be said or any elaborations to be had.

If you've read this, there's probably not a lot you can take from it but thanks for reading anyway.
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Aufwiedersehn 2009 [Jan. 1st, 2010|10:15 pm]
Greg K
[Current Music |7th Key - Butterflies In My Room]

So it was about 3pm on December 31 2009, it was about 38 degrees celcius in Hobart (you heard right) when clouds slowly rolled in from all directions. I thought about what I had accomplished in the past year. Immediately I was faced with the realisation that I had not accomplished anything, which I quickly realised is not true.
I've moved up the ranks at work, I've landed the residency at Syrup and random gigs at Halo, I've had myself some time off, realigned my hobbies, changed my perspective on priorities, seen some pretty wicked gigs, met up with old friends I have not seen in a long time and said goodbye to some too.
Alot has happened in the past year.

The good was plentiful, the bad was uncommon. Worrying if I were in my old habit of thought, but now, hey. It's gravy.

I would like to say thankyou 2009, I appreciate your good spirits.
I'll leave it at that.

But do not forget this much:

It is not a new decade - yet.

PS - If you aren't planning on seeing Avatar 3D for whatever reason, you're a fuckwit.

Here's to 2010.
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Left this for a while didn't I? [Oct. 26th, 2009|10:38 am]
Greg K
[Current Music |Extrawelt - Mit Leise Auf Der Weise [Max Cooper mix]]

From the last time I posted, much has been scribed on the pages of history.
First and perhaps foremost, this weekend just passed marked the 2009 ATOM awards for which Pete was nominated for 'Best Tertiary Experimental' video, for which I had baked up the soundtrack LINK HERE FOR SOUNDTRACK.
This was a pretty cool achievement, and on Friday night we flew to Melbourne, stayed in a pricey hotel, bought a $120 bottle of Ardbeg (World scotch '09 winner), suited up and hit that.

Let me tell you this.
It was a good weekend, but awards nights are long. I have never counted myself yawning so many times in a 3ish hour period as I did that night. Needless to say we were not successful in winning the award. Some of the entries across the other categories were amazing, and it was great to be there. The mini-burgers at the afterparty were also pretty amazing. Oh and there were free Boag's Draughts. I mean come on.

After that we retired to the suite and drank ourselves see-through. This continued until the next day. I believe I spoke with my Mum on the phone at some point but it's really just a blur. We found a nice alley restaurant somewhere in town and had a really decent meal there (wicked service too) then wobbled back to the hotel again and passed out. I woke up the next morning and told Pete that I was going to spew on the plane. This almost actually occured in the taxi on the way there, also in the airport check-in, the security checkpoint, the gangway, but surprisingly not on the plane. I secretly won that weekend solely for that achievement.

Aside from that, I have been successful at work in gaining a (wait for this title by the way) Subject Matter Expert role. I am officially an expert in the matter of subjects (bitch).
This means my job satisfaction increases tenfold and I am less likely to have a stroke at Christmas dinner.

I can't think of anything else to say so I'm going to leave that there.
I do believe however it is Sasha time very shortly. This is awesome.

Take care of yourselves.
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A rant about thieves. [Aug. 6th, 2009|10:01 pm]
Greg K
[Current Music |Ramon Tapia - What's Next]

So anyway.

Life lately = busy but good.
Achieved a major, MAJOR illness recently which was great. 4 days off work, is some kind of record. I also had annual leave afterward which was great. During this time I discovered Wii bowling actually increases real bowling prowess. 5 strikes is not something achieved by Noobkills McGillicutty on a good day.

In other news, some cheap hobo fuck stole my headphones after my set at Halo last weekend. Now don't get me wrong I do alot of dumb shit, mostly for the lulz (the rockets for example) but seriously stealing? My Senheissers? Fuck you. Anyway the upshot is I got to spend $320 on new ones.
No wait. That's not an upshot.

The good news is I need them, because I have been playing heaps. That's genuinely a good thing.
It means I can justify my credit card being ploughed like the fields of Iowa and my eardrums being relentlessly pounded like... wait they do corn there, don't they? Where was I?

Work has achieved major awesomesauce. Someone read my mind and now I am what?
I am an acting teamleader/mentor/noob support personell. Fucking allllllllright.
This is so, so awesome because it means less time on the phones and more doing things that dont involve answering so many calls from angry people wanting you to fix other peoples mistakes. Plus for three weeks I get my weekends. I GET MY FUCKING WEEKENDS. This is the part where you imagine I am throwing shit everywhere and pouring Dom Perignon on my face, which is not too far from last weekend. By the way, ouch.

That is all to report. Hope everyone is alive and well!

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Hey all, turns out I'm alive. [Mar. 13th, 2009|11:30 pm]
Greg K
[Current Music |Pig & Dan - Terminate]

Well batten the hatches and flibber me jibbets.

What the christ has been going on LJ people?


Anyway, this:
I Love Techno

So techno finally gets a regular night in Hobart! RWK.

Other news:
Voluntarily switched from 123/Network/Prepay Care to a lower-paying Full Care position with the sole purpose of gaining a skillset so I can move up through the business. Apparently management smile on this because no one does it, and it holds well for the future. Tick "Making Career Move" off of life achievements list.

Also tick off "minor bingle repair", "launching high-power model rockets under high-tensile 1-phase powerlines (six, to be exact)" and "CATO-ing (explosionating) many more unsuccesfull rockets to the dismay of myself and the police". I have also bought a graphics card and now enjoy playing computer games. What the fuck is happening to me?

I believe I am fulfilling childhood fantasies, but who gives a shit?

Anyway I'm off to tear syrup a new acid-hole.
Enjoy whatever the shit whoever the fuck reads this, does.

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Worth sharing. [Dec. 10th, 2008|04:00 am]
Greg K

That is all.
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wassapanen [Sep. 25th, 2008|09:40 pm]
Greg K
Well have I been busy?

Many things happening lately.
I was one of the chosen few to attend the 123 thinktank today. It was full-on. I mean wow. We had to generate and flesh out business ideas for 123 at great length. I mean,I use my head for musical creativity all the time so creation isn't a problem, or so I thought. Turns out there are different areas of the mind for different areas of creation and certain areas got a FUCKING BEATING TODAY. Imagine keeping yourself locked in a cupboard, then being thrust into a lightroom and whipped with chains.


It was great though, not only am I totally stoked that the big bosses personally asked me to attend and then sat me in their group but I also got to contribute to the future of the business.

I honestly never thought I'd hear myself say this but I think I am slowly becoming a ...
... career man?
AaGGHghGH *scrapes tongue*.
But in reality it feels kinda good... secure. Reliable.

In other news, everyone is fucking sick as dogs.

Went and helped Pete and Rob drink on sunday at the metz, which was great since I haven't been there for over 8 months. I had catching up to do though, they were past it and I wasn't near it but that made for laffs.

Also, in case you're all retarded... Global Gathering.

Sasha? Kraftwerk? SOLD.

There are others but I don't care. Complications I dare say. Fuck me I haven't been this excited since DURING daft punk. This is really going to be something.
And on the subject, Invol2ver anyone? HI. WOW. You really are the worst thing in the world but that is FINE BY ME.

It's really great to be so strongly seeded in music again.
I have also gotten around to buying more MIDI cables now so I have this live rig happening finally which is not only hugely time consuming it's also awesome fun and totally worth every last hundred thousand fucking dollars I spend on it or whatever.

Recording projects are going great. One of them is corrupt (Imageline software, really does suck balls), but before that it was sounding great so that's confidence if anything.

Anyway ch'all I'm out so take it easy and I'll get around to posting photos of my sweet new haircut that i got after OVER A YEAR OF GROWING HAIR. HAHAHA I FINALLY DID IT AND STILL HAVE A GIRLFRIEND TO SHOW. WINZ!
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Whut? [Aug. 13th, 2008|08:18 am]
Greg K
So anyway,

I was driving to work this morning minding my own business.
Davey Street entrance to southern outlet? Closed. The cops there redirect me to Proctor's road (with their hand-waving gestures).
Proctor's Road entrance to southern outlet? Closed. They verbally redirect me to try the Channel Highway. I call work to tell them not to expect me for a little while yet; they explain the situation.

Channel Highway? Closed.

So I turn the car around and go home.
Today is a good day.
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shijt. [Aug. 8th, 2008|02:19 am]
Greg K
Wow. Lots on lately.

I haven't written in this for a while, it's bordering on neglect, but that's alright isn't it?
Nothing like a little malnutrition with your weetbix. Or, is there?

Last month several awesome things happened. I ripped fairys off the walls, painted them and gave birth to the "black hole". The black hole is is a pleasant colour called: "velvet maroon". I spend all of my god damn free time in this place, and it is pretty much the awesomenest thing ever.
I also bought a fucking sweet microphone and valve preamp which makes for ultra smooth recordings, and have been working my ass off and trying to find the time to record when there is no elephant stampede (read: 10+ strong tap class) next door.

The new car hasn't crashed under my control yet. This is a plus.

I am also slamming the KPI's at work, getting excellent numbers in my stats; the other day they gave me a box set of the Pierce Brosnan Bond films and a box of chocolates JUST FOR BEING AWESOME.

Naturally I threw them into the fans.

That is a lie, like Kenny G and Creed (seriously do you remember this fucking band? What the fuck?!) we dont have fans.

Something else.

That other thing.

Playing at Pitch Black on Saturday, first one in a while since the DJing holiday. HOoraaaryy.

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I WIN. I WIN AT INTERNET. [Jun. 28th, 2008|06:59 pm]
Greg K
[Current Music |Scary Grant - What u ask for]

So after six months, I finally have the internet.

I also have a pipeline full of awesomesauce ready to explode all over the place.

1) Behringer Truth 2031a monitor and Sub package
After years and years of using hi fi speakers I finally went out and decided that I deserve studio monitors. Dad has leant me a pair from Production Works, and I was sold within about five minutes. Hooray for accuracy!

2) New car
I am buying a lancer. Yeah, the RX7 is dying. Also, just because I'm a fuckwit I'm buying a sub for that too. Because I can.

3) New computer
Studio is lacking solely due to the old computer sucking (huge understatement). For this reason I consulted god and he said:
Quadcore 2.4 gHz fucking powerhouse with the mother of all noise-reducing cases, the Antec Sonata III, 4 gigabytes of ram, 500g HDD, and a motherfucking 22" TFT display. Enough said. This thing will surely destroy any latency issues I had previously, and combined with the room of awesomeness and the new monitors, you can expect to hear some serious shit VERY soon.

Aside from all of that I've been recovering from Jade's 21st for a couple of weeks now.
Seriously. I have destroyed the part of my brain which says "No, that's enough,". Coupled with the excursion at Pete's last weekend, which resulted in my standing outside his house for a calculated 40 minutes staring into the sky dancing to music which didn't exist... has proven to be enough partying for a lifetime. At least until 9 o'clock tonight anyway.

Hope everyone is well, till next time
au revoir.
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